Toast for a Son's Marriage

Our oldest son married over the weekend, so I hope you’ll indulge me for this very personal post.

Rehearsal Dinner Toast

Thank you all for being here to help us celebrate this wonderful event—the joining together of two lives to make a new covenant household.

As parents, this is both a joyous, and frightening, occasion. Joyous, because you know all the rich blessings that God delights to give his children in the covenant of marriage. Frightening, because you know how hard relationships are, and hope your kids can avoid the mistakes you made. But this occasion is not about us—it’s about Buchan and Michaela.

As a first-born son, Buchan holds a special place in our hearts. I will never forget holding him for the first time after he was born, with his big baby eyes staring up at me. Probably wondering, who is this crazy guy? And why is he singing to me? I’m not sure why I was singing Psalms to this beautiful boy—it seemed like the right thing to do. But, singing God’s covenant songs to our children is perfectly fitting, since it reminds us that parenting, marriage, and all of life, are gifts from God, and they only flourish if they are pursued under God’s blessing.

Some of you may not know Buchan that well. His full name is actually Athanasius Buchan Soderberg. Athanasius was an early Christian pastor and theologian who resisted the heresy of Arianism, which taught that Jesus was not fully God. Athanasius was opposed and forced into exile several times. He had to wait for long periods in the desert, until he was finally vindicated. He was known as “Athanasius contra mundum”—Athanasius against the world. Our Athanasius has the same stubborn tenacity. When he wants to do something, he pursues it 110%, and won’t give up until he achieves his goal. You can see this when he plays rugby. Whether he has a broken finger, a broken nose, or just got punched in the eye, he keeps on going. One year, he got the “Workhorse Award” from the coaches because of his tenacity and determination.

He is also named “Buchan” after John Buchan, the Scottish Presbyterian writer, outdoorsman, and politician. John Buchan basically invented the spy novel with his book The 39 Steps, based on his own experiences during WW I. John Buchan was a man of words, but also a man’s man who enjoyed hiking, fishing, and travel. Our Buchan is also a man of words and enjoys adventures of all sorts in God’s good world. When he was younger, Buchan would narrate wonderfully creative stories to us and we would write them down. He then later wrote various stories, and songs, on his own. He has a sparkling sense of humor and creativity, and I hope he will continue to develop these gifts during the rest of his life.

As part of celebrating this next chapter of Buchan’s life, perhaps it will help to briefly review some highlights of his childhood. These are drawn from a collection of family quotes:

• Age 7: “It’s a good thing we have dreams ... otherwise, sleeping would be so boring!”

• Around age 8-9: Athanasius contemplates the grim array on his dinner plate. And sits. And contemplates. And sits some more. Finally: “Papa! there are invisible flames shooting up from my plate and every time I try to put my fork close, the flames shoot up and stop it, and so I can’t eat my green bean.”

• For some time, Buchan struggled with being kind to Lewis, his annoying little brother. After many discussions, and even more discipline, and some readings from 1 Jn. on “loving our brothers,” he finally decided to work on loving Lewis. The other day, he abruptly told Cynthia: “Mama, I don’t want to go to hell, so I’m going to be nice to Lewis now.”

As you can see, parenting Buchan (along with our other children) has always been a hilarious adventure!

Buchan has always had a deep love for animals and has always been gifted with relating to younger children. At church, there would routinely be a swarm of little kids wherever Buchan went. He has taken his strength and “workhorse” work ethic into concrete work and now other types of construction. We’re excited to see how he continues to use the gifts and abilities God has given him to glorify God and serve others.

Michaela, we obviously don’t have as much history with you, but we are thrilled that you and Buchan connected over quads, athletics, and a love for the outdoors. You are a strong and beautiful young woman. You are quick to learn and will be a wonderful companion and helpmate for Buchan. The word “helpmate” used in some Bible translations to describe Eve in Genesis can also be translated as “strong helper.” May you and Buchan work together through this new covenant union to push back the powers of darkness through your love, your laughter, and your joy. May your house be a place of rest in a restless world. May it be a place where life and relationships flourish. May you be blessed with many covenant children. We love you both. To Buchan and Michaela!

Prayer Before Wedding Dinner

Our Father in heaven, you have created us male and female and have instituted the holy covenant of marriage to bless and sanctify us. We pray your blessing on this new covenant union. May this new husband and wife delight in each other and glorify you in their love for each other. May they keep you at the center of their relationship, for we know that everything falls apart unless you hold it together. We pray that Buchan and Michaela would work together to push back the powers of darkness through their love, their laughter, and their joy. May their house be a place of rest in a restless world. May it be a place where life and relationships flourish. May they be blessed with many covenant children who will faithfully follow you all their days and continue to enjoy the river of blessings that you have promised to your people, and to their children. May this moment remind all of us about the importance of keeping you at the center of our lives and our relationships. Please bless this food for our use, and may our feasting glorify you, the Giver of all good Gifts. We pray this in Jesus’ name, through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen!